Networking - A Powerful Communication Tool

Professionals are constantly networking to grow themselves and their businesses. It really works. Some people, however, resist networking for whatever reason, be it that they are too busy or impatient or that they aren't confident enough to put themselves out there. Still others are trying, but may not be networking in the best way. The following tips will help you and your business gain an edge through effective networking. Prepare.

Before any networking interaction, prepare as well as possible by learning as much as possible about the potential connections you will be interacting with. By doing this, you can target questions and tailor the conversation in a manner by which you will be better able to relate to people and see how you could work together. In addition establish what you aim to achieve from networking and what you are looking to gain and offer. 

Don't look at it as work. If networking feels like a chore, you won't be getting anything out of it. Go in with a positive attitude and really get into conversations in which you're talking to and learning from each other. Organic conversations will follow and you will make a better impression. Be genuinely interested in the other networkers, not to keen to talk about you and your needs and wants.

Team up. By working with somebody else in your networking efforts, you might find yourself being more successful. One way of going about this is to an event and talk up the other person and their ideas. Spreading positive views will, whether or not they realize it, make people more inclined to feel the same way. Essentially, it is extremely valuable to have someone there to look out for and promote you. Another route is to establish a strategic relationship with someone who is already reaching and interacting with your target. 

Add value. Networking is a give and take process, and you should focus on the give. You will have to give before you get. If you do something helpful for someone or provide some form of valuable service or insight, you will make a much better impression on these people that are likely asked for favors and advice all the time. Relationships will develop, and you will be better off in the long run. Join the right group. Don't waste your time and energy being part of a group that isn't valuable. The people in the group should provide resources, knowledge, and a willingness to share, and they should be influential. Communication should be consistent, respectful, and professional, and the network should offer support in overcoming challenges and frustrations.

Don't go into a networking interaction with a sales pitch. By conversing openly and informally, you will find that people are more inclined to do business with you. Suggest topics that are not difficult to discuss and really pay attention. Listen well to the other person and stay involved in the conversation. Be engaging and enthusiastic, mind your manners, and smile. Interact with the right people. When you go to networking events, the amount of people that are there for you to reach out to can be overwhelming.  Find the right ones. Talk to the organizers and influencers who understand the inner workings and have a lot of connections.

Follow up. After any interaction, you probably promised some sort of follow-up, like a phone call or sending some information. You must actually do it. Following up with the people with whom you made connections will demonstrate interest and availability and increase the likelihood that a mutually profitable relationship will blossom. Business networking can help you make connections, close deals, grow your business, and increase your likelihood of employment, but only if done correctly. Put these tips into practice in order to gain success in your networking endeavours.


The full article

This You Tube Video highlights all the salient points

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY-PEvX4ySs

Communication - Attention = No Results

Reading a great book at the moment, which really links into my effective listening posts; James Borg, Persuasion, The Art of Influencing People. Really got me thinking about just how effective we communicate and is summed up with an equation .......Communication minus attention equals 'no results'. Quite simply we might be hearing but are we actually listening?

How often he you been in a conversation seemingly listening, then part way through you find yourself wondering, maybe picked up on a piece of detail and gone off on a tangent in your mind. Suddenly realised, by which time you missed the point of the conversation. The problem here is a lack of awareness regarding the speed our brains can consume and process information; much faster than the typical person can speak. We generally pick up on key words, or elements within a conversation which spike our interest, process and think about that and conversely miss the point. A great example from the book, which you will all undoubtedly associate with:

What did you do this weekend?

Drove down to the coast with the kids, to Brighton, and stayed over night.

Oh Brighton. I haven't been there for years. Did you take the train?

No, I drove.

Did you go on your own?

How many of you have been giving a pitch and this scenario runs its course; after the pleasantries the other parties mobile rings. Excuse me whilst I take this call!  Then your disturbed by the secretary, another mobile call and so on; your message is lost the attention is lost. Or have you been the one with the lack of attention? Which ever the case the point is the same, the message is lost.......No results.

So what? This short blog is to raise awareness in maintaining and being attentive, keeping the interest levels on track be they your own or the other party. Next time you find yourself in a conversation be fully engaged and attentive, watch for those distractions, becoming distracted, listen for the detail and don't allow yourself to be distracted. You'll be amazed what you have missed in the past, the opportunities, understanding


and you'll see greater results in life and business.

Communication - Giving Feedback

How to give feedback

Before giving feedback make sure you remind yourself why you are doing it. The purpose for giving feedback is to improve the situation or performance of your colleague or employee.

You won't accomplish that by being harsh, critical, or offensive. So focus on the change you want to see rather than the problems you don't want to see.

Prepare your comments - you don't always need a script but you do need to be clear about what you are going to say. This helps you stay on track and stick to the issues.

The AEIOU model

This model can be used with groups, between two people, at any level of your team, group or organisation. ie project manager to team member; team member to team member, manager to manager. Focusing on collaboration or Win/Win outcome, the key to this approach is a concept known as Positive Intentionality (sounds complex but it's really simple).

Positive Intentionality assumes the other person means well and is not trying to cause a conflict. For example: Your Manager has delegated the coordination of a specific task to you because of your background and experience, and then constantly checks with you 'just to see how it's going'. You find this aggravating and you're beginning to feel that you're not trusted. If you approach your Manager to discuss this and begin with a question such as "Why are you constantly looking over my shoulder when you assign me to a task?" you come across as accusatory, automatically putting your Manager on the defense. With Positive Intentionality, you attempt to identify a positive reason in your Manager's mind for his or her action. Perhaps he or she simply wants to make sure everything is going right, or that you aren't overloaded.

After you've identified a positive intention, you can then use it to open the issue without putting your Manager the defensive. Start with "I know you're concerned about getting this workshop organised " you are identifying with your manager's concern rather than accusing his or her action.

Steps in AEIOU model........

A: Assume the other person means well. If you assume the other person is trying to cause conflict, the chances for effectively managing the situation are greatly reduced. However, if you attempt to identify a positive intention and state it to the other person, you substantially increase the possibility of resolving the differences.

E: Express your feelings. After you've indicated to the person what you perceive to be a positive intention, you then respond by affirming that position and expressing your own specific concern.

I: Identify what you would like to happen.In this step you non-defensively propose the changes you would like to see occur. Although you need to be firm in your approach, the language you choose is very important. Saying "I want" is extremely different from saying "I would like"

O: Outcome expected. Indicate the positive and the negative potential outcomes, but emphasise the positive expectations for both of you , Whats in it for me? (WIIFM?)

U: Understanding on a mutual basis. In this final stage, the aim is to get the other person to agree to your proposal. A good way to do this is to ask "Could we agree to this for a while and see if it works out for both of us?"

Of course there are always two sides to the story so you need to be ready to consider a compromise or alternative options in this step. So give some thought about the 'conflicts' that you are involved with or may be involved with in the future. Could the AEIOU process be a useful tool in managing it? What questions will you ask?

This Slide show also gives further insight to feedback:

Giving feedback from Power Hour Training

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Give-Feedback-to-Peers-or-Employees&id=7854842


http://www.slideshare.net/PowerHour/giving-feedback-24049007?from_search=1

The Art of Communication - Effective Listening

Well in tune with communication this week I have entered into a new medium of communication, the video and ‘You Tube’. Seems the right thing to do after all! So without further ado why not watch what I have to say regarding effective listening………

The Art of Communication - Styles

There are undoubtedly many different ways we might consider when communicating, in this log we are going to focus on 4 styles that people typically employ in order to achieve an outcome: tell, sell, discuss and empower.

TELL

Tell is the style that often comes most naturally to people, liking the sound of their own voices!.  Throughout life, most people will themselves have been told what to do by others in authority, whether by parents, teachers, or more senior people within the workplace, so it not surprising that they naturally take on this style themselves.  Tell is a one-way style of communication used to convey information related to what to do and, if required, how to do it.   

In this way, tell is useful in those situations where people don’t know what to do or how to do it and therefore have to be told.  It is also useful in those situations when we want to maintain control or authority, or when we have limited time, there is a sense of urgency, and we need to do things quickly.  However, tell has its limitations too.  On the one hand, tell doesn’t require a person to think for themselves, only to do what they’re told, and does nothing for their ability to do so.  On the other hand, people don’t generally like being told what to do, particularly if they believe they already know what to do and how to do it.  And tell conveys little ownership to the person being told such that, by retaining control, the teller ultimately remains responsible.

SELL

Sell is the style adopted by many people as they become more experienced at communicating.  Traditionally sell is a one-way style of communication based upon tell, but one in which an explanation of the reasons why to do something, typically in the form of benefits and consequences, are introduced. 

In this way, sell is useful in those situations where a person needs to “buy into”, be convinced or be motivated in order to take action.  However, whilst sell does involve an explanation of the reasons for doing things, these reasons are most often those of the seller, such that their motives might not necessarily motivate the person being sold.  Consequently, any motivation that is derived runs the risk of being externally rather than intrinsically driven, whilst the style itself can often appear manipulative.  In these situations, the seller typically has to work quite hard in order to convince people and, if this doesn’t work, the person ends up being told. 

DISCUSS

Discuss is a two-way style of communication in which another person is invited to participate and share points of view before a decision is arrived at together. 

In this way, discuss is useful in those situations where two minds are better than one, where the knowledge, skills and experiences of another person can assist the creative-thinking and problem-solving processes by which joint decisions are made.  It is also a useful style with which to make people feel valued and that their own opinions and experiences count.  In doing so, it is a style that conveys joint ownership and responsibility.  However, by its very nature, discuss is a style that requires at least one other person, whilst differing opinions without prior agreement as to how final decisions will be arrived at can often lead to conflict.  The very nature of discussion, meanwhile, often means that it can take a lot of time, whilst extended discussions without clear guidelines and agenda run the very real risk of being “all talk, no action”.

EMPOWER

Empower can be considered both a one and two-way style of communication.  As a one-way style, it is fundamentally linked to the concept of delegation, whereby one person tells another person to do things for and by themselves.  As a two-way style, meanwhile, it involves an empowered person having a discussion with themselves. 

In this way, empower is useful in those situations where we want to make

people wholly responsible, enable them to do what they do best, and give them ownership.  It is also useful in those situations when there is no one else, such that the person has to be able to do things for and by themselves.  At the same time, it frees up the time of the person delegating to focus on other things.  However, true empowerment requires that a person has both the knowledge and skills to do the job combined with the confidence and motivation to make their own decisions.  At the same time, the person delegating needs to have confidence in the person they are empowering in order to be able to delegate.  And whilst time might be something the person delegating may well want to gain, control and authority are often things they don’t want to lose.

 

 

and when it all gets a little confusing:

 

 

The GROW Model

The GROW Model is a tool which can help you or your coach to set goals and develop the action plan.  Whilst it is most commonly used in the context of one-on-one coaching, it can be employed in the context of personal goal setting too as a gauge to ensuring the goal is truly attainable. The GROW Model is essentially a framework for directing effective questions about the goal and its achievement.  It consists of 4 stages:

 

Goal: This stage involves us focusing your attention solely on the goal that you desire.  Here it is important that we employ all the tools and guidelines applicable to goals and the goal setting process.  The outcome of this stage should be a goal that is both clearly and precisely defined; accepting of course that it may well change in the future.  It will almost certainly require a self dialog and asking yourself questions, such as “what do I want to achieve”, “how might I make this goal more specific”, “how can I make this goal measurable” and “do I really think that my goal is achievable by me through my own efforts”?  We might also ask ourselves, “are there any sub-goals that I might include as milestones to reaching my goal” and “when do I want to have achieved my goal by”? Many of the questions can be formed though the SMART approach.

 

Reality: This stage involves us considering your current situation by reflecting upon where you are “now” in relation to the goal.  This must be done objectivity, however it is very easy at this stage to allow limiting beliefs to creep

in; be cautious.  Often people distort their reality with the opinions, judgements, expectations and beliefs of other people, in addition to those that they undoubtedly hold themselves.  For this reason it is important you maintain a degree of detachment and be descriptive rather than evaluative.  At the end of this stage it is usually worth checking that the original goal that we made is still valid and holds a level of priority, a solid reason why.  Many people find that they need to amend it in light of what they have learned about themselves during the reality stage.  The type of questions you ask yourself may include, “what is my current situation now with respect to my goal”, ”how close to my goal am I”, “what are the reasons for this” and “how do I think achieving my goal will make me think, feel and act in the future”? 

 

Options: Having looked at the reality of the current situation, this stage involves considering the options available in terms of how you might make the goal a reality.  It is important to recognise, however, that the purpose of this stage is not so much to find the “right” answer, as it is to create and list as many alternatives as possible.  In doing so, you should continually try to think “outside of the box”, whilst reflecting objectively on the relative strengths and weakness of each option, what things we might already have in support of each option, and yet other things you might need.  Throughout this stage you must

remain aware of negative assumptions such as “that option wouldn’t work” or “I wouldn’t be allowed to do that”.  By asking yourself effective questions, or better still getting other people to ask them, such as your coach, you can over-ride this negative and self-limiting tendency and challenge the reality of our situation by asking ourselves “what are the reasons for me thinking this way”.  Similarly, the “what if” approach often produces yet more options.  In this way you may ask yourself, “what if I had more time” or “what if this wasn’t the case”.  Often, however, you might be unable to see an option that someone else can, so be open to suggestion.  Here, you may ask others, “are there any options that I haven’t yet considered?”  But having asked the question we must at least be prepared to consider the answer!  Examples of other questions that you might ask during this stage might include “how might I achieve this goal”, “how have other people achieved similar goals” and “what other options might I have open to me”?

 

Will: Whilst the Options stage is about what you “could” do, the Will stage is about what you “will” do.  This is arguably the most important stage because it is the one in which decisions are made and from which action is derived.  It is during this stage that you ask yourself “what option/'s will I choose?”  Having run down our list of options and summarised them, you may well have just one preferred option that you wish to act upon or several that you wish to implement at once.  Alternatively you may prioritise several options on the basis of “if that doesn’t work then I’ll do this”.  Once you have made your choice, it is often a good idea to check that our chosen course of action will help achieve your goal.  It is then essential to commit to your time scale by asking ourselves, “when will I start working towards my goal?”  If we have employed the GROW Model properly, committing to our action plan in this way is the natural conclusion to the goal setting process.

This is a great web site

21 - 30 Days to change

Back in the 70s NASA conducted a study, astronauts
were fitted 24 hours a day with goggles that inverted their visual fields. This visually turned their entire world upside down. To monitor the stress of constant inversion, physiological responses, such as higher blood pressure and heart rate, were tracked. It was not until around the 21 days of wearing the glasses, that the astronauts began to mentally accept their altered world and show physical signs of being unstressed and comfortable in their new environment. In fact, some of the astronauts took off their goggles for a period of time and they found that the reconditioning started again. This means that you need consistent, daily focus and attention over a 21 day span.

So What? The Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF) regards the need to be consistent in change, if you allow a set period (significant period) between 21 - 30 days to master the change of a habit it will and is more likely to become a replacement of the habit. Here in the TED video Matt Cutts highlights this as trying something new for 30 days.  So go on have a go try something new, but don't take my word for it.......